I don’t know how to vote.
I don’t mean which candidates, Trump-Pence or Biden-Harris or the various ballot measures. Like most of you, I made up my mind months ago. Physically I don’t know how to vote.
Do I drop my ballot in the mail? Will it be delivered in time? Should I drop it off in one of those big white metal boxes? How secure are they? When do the “vote centers” open? How is a vote center different than my traditional polling place? Should I risk death and stand in line on Election Day to vote in person?
I cast my first ballot when I was eleven. Mrs. Furness decided our class needed a president and I threw my support behind Wade Welch. I don’t remember now where Wade stood on the big issues roiling the sixth grade at St. Aloysius: the cafeteria’s shameless price-gouging on ice cream sandwiches, the rash of life-threatening injuries suffered during violent games of “Kill the man with the ball” during recess, and finally, did I have a shot at dancing with Eileen Vachris during cotillion?
Ultimately what put Wade over the top was his opponent, Rytas Vilgalys, who today is a famous biologist at Duke, but whose name is much harder to spell than “Wade Welch.” Empires have fallen over less.
So, I’m no rookie voter but this election has me scratching my head.
My official sample ballot has diagrams of the new ballot marking device (BMD), which features a “tactile keypad with audio,” “customizable touch display,” “integrated ballot box” and a new ballot design. Leather seats and pinstripes are extra.
Back in the day absentee ballots were reserved for people who expected to be out of town on Election Day or were physically incapable of going to the polls, hence the name “absentee.”
But as voter participation continued to plunge we decided to let anyone who wants a mail-in ballot have one. Then we instituted motor voter registration at the DMV. We tried to “Rock the Vote” and early voting, yet turnout remained dismal, especially in municipal elections. The one thing we haven’t tried is running better candidates.
When the pandemic hit worries about long lines at polling places prompted Governor Newsom to send every registered voter a ballot whether they want one or not. President Trump jumped on this as evidence of a plot to rig the election. It’s not. But you have to be a special kind of naïve not to see how millions of ballots floating around in untended mailboxes might open the door to shenanigans.
In 2000, George W. Bush and Al Gore essentially tied in Florida. Remember the bald guy with the enormous eyeball looking for hanging chads through a magnifying glass?
A poorly designed ballot in one county caused a stampede to touch screen voting machines even though they are hackable, often paperless and impossible to recount and open the door to even more suspicion of nefarious companies like Diebold and others accused (falsely) of implanting secret cheating software to steal elections.
Now, the incumbent president of the United States is the chief conspiracy theorist trashing the integrity of an election before, during and presumably after the polls close. Donald Trump was the first candidate in history who claimed the election he won was rigged.Spoiler alert: voter suppression will occur. Russia and China will undoubtedly mess with us via social media and more. Still, take comfort; it is extremely hard to steal a presidential election because we don’t actually have a national election. We have 50 state elections. Within those states each county makes up and counts their own ballots. There’s safety in numbers. For now.
Because of COVID-19, states are fairly new to using mail-in ballots at this scale. Swing states may take days or even weeks to count. The television networks will freak because they want everything wrapped up with a bow before the 11 o’clock news.
Tough you know what. This time, everyone, including “We the People,” will have to show a little patience. Getting it right is more important than getting it quick.
Doug McIntyre’s column appears Sundays. He can be reached at: Doug@DougMcIntyre.com.
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